june 15th: i learned that it's okay to change my mind

so after getting my second vax, after much trepidation (i am still convinced the gov is not to be trusted, but as to respect those who've lost their lives to COVID and those who are fighting for patents so that they may receive the vaccine, i placed the good of the over-arching community over my personal feelings of paranoia), i was biking home and stopped by this bakery that i've gone to for years, which just expanded and is now hiring.

my rabbi's wife had mentioned it, and i appreciated her thinking of me at all. whilst filling out the application form, however, i soon realized that i no longer want to work in the food service industry, though it is a respectable, and essential occupation. and as guilty as i felt for wasting 3 sheets of computer paper (sorry mother nature), and the associate's time (she answered questions for me and was very kind and i didn't have cash to tip her, sadly), and felt awkward having asked for an application only to throw it away, this was a personal milestone for me.

i have a lot of weird commitment issues when it comes to capitalism so i've been grappling with unlearning and abolishing those tendencies and feelings of obligation (they stem from financial trauma growing up, and financial illiteracy) to those who pay me.

okay, off to start my dayyyyyy!!!! kudos to y'alll thank you for reading, here's to new adventures, saying goodbye to the food industry forreal this time, and accepting that my feelings are dynamic and it's okay to not continue doing things if they don't bring me joy :)))